Can I help you with anything!

This, of course, is fiction isn’t it!

Recently I had an unexpected and life altering experience — stroking out at my desk.  For me, the universe changed.  One minute I am an obsessed professional. The next minute — well the minutes don’t matter any more.   Time now exists on its own and my terms.

Needless to say I get lost in the moment now.

I fortunately enjoyed a miraculous recovery. But several days seriously incapacitated saps strength and impairs large some function. After a couple of days out of ICU my keepers let me attend to personal hygiene. But only under close supervision at all times. Hospitals get sued when patients fall and hospitals never want to be sued

A young woman named Erica — about 24 years old I’d guess – was tasked to help me clean up. Erica was very cute in her scrubs and smiled sweetly feeding an old man’s hospital fantasies as well as they could be fed for someone haltingly walking with a walker

Erica helped me out of bed and walked me to the shower facilities. She told me to get rid of my gown so I would not catch it on something and fall. She showed me my toiletries– disposable razors Gillette foamy and hospital liquid soap.

I began to shave. I did not do well. Erica kindly asked “May I help you with that?” I laughed nervously and nodded.

Erica wet my face with a cloth and lathered me with Foamy and carefully but roughly dragged the razor over a 4-5 day beard. It wasn’t pleasant but it felt good to be shaved

“Are you ready to shower” she asked

I blushed even more ” I don’t want to impose”.

Erica laughed “It’s kind of late for that” she said smiling

I turned to her “I hope not. Before I was admitted I shaved my pubic area and the stubble is killing me”.

Now it was Erica’s turn to blush. ” I have never had that request before” she said.

“I didn’t mean to offend” I answered. “It’s ok without” I said quickly

Erica recovered her composure. “No, I’m here to help you. But you should sit in the shower stall chair”

Erica helped me to the shower and wet the target area. She looked and bit her lower lip thoughtfully

” Foamy is no good for this. Let’s use the liquid soap”, she told me, taking charge.

Before I could answer she squirted a large amount of soap in her hands and spread it it over my pubic area. She then got down on one knee and began to shave me.

Erica looked up at me “If I’m going to do this you have to cooperate. Open up your legs and lean back”

I happily complied and I felt her gloved hand grasp my penis as she began to slowly shave me. The act of being shaved by a pretty 24 year old gave me my first post stroke erection

I looked down at her ” I should be mortified but I’m actually ecstatic that everything works”.

That broke the tension and we both laughed. Erica lost whatever inhibitions she had and grabbed my shaft and got to work shaving me. She carefully shaved my scrotum and around my shaft

” Between my cheeks too if you don’t mind?” I asked.

Erica smiled “Why not. But you have to hold your walker and turn around”.

I happily complied and Erica shaved my crack and cleaned up the area of my anus and perineum.

“Thank you” I said. “You don’t know how good this feels”.

“Let’s get you showered” she said and turned on the water and let it warm. The warm water covered me and I awkwardly started to soap myself.

“I’m about out of time” she said. “Let me wash you.”

With that she covered her gloved hands with soap — and then me. Carefully washing me.

“Let’s see how well I did” she said and ran her hands over my still erect cock and balls. She carefully washed me. My breathing got heavier and Erica just smiled.

Erica took her time washing me, stretching my skin and my cock. Her gloved hands teased me, running fingers underneath the rim of the mushroom head. Her other hand washed my crack. I felt her slim soapy gloved finger penetrate my ass causing my hard cock to jerk convulsively in her other gloved hand.

Erica just smiled, humming softly.

After a few minutes my cock began to pulse and contract, and I shot my cum into the shower.

Erica smiled broadly, ” Well now you can rest easy. Everything still works”.

I was pretty much beat so Erica finished washing me without much more excitement. She helped me dry off and don my gown. Then she held my arm as I shuffled with my walker back to my bed.

” I’m so happy for you”,she said smiling as she squeezed my hand and left for the day.

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Accidental Promise. Part 1

It was Monday after Thanksgiving. I was comparing cooking notes with my office receptionist — a very sexy older woman named Ann, about my same age. We both cook and flirt, and have flirted with each other for years. Except for some deniable touching, flirting is all that had yet transpired.

“It was the first time I made my turkey on a sheet pan instead of a roaster”, I said.

“The meat was done perfectly and was perfect – moist and juicy”, I added.

“Let me see” , she asked taking my phone and pressing the photo icon. I was surprised, I don’t even let my girl friend take my phone. But the last several pictures were cooking shots – including the prepared meal.

” That looks easy”, Ann said as she started to scroll.

I find Ann sexy. She is attractive in a lush womanly way. I am always hard when we talk – Ann at her seat at the reception desk and me standing next to and over her – my straining cock about even with her lush full lips

“Here, let me take that”, I said becoming a little concerned. There were pictures on that phone that did not involve roasted turkey ….

“Just wait”, she said pushing my hand away from the phone as she continued to scroll, biting her lower lip.

She looked up after a few long minutes. “It does look firm, but the only way to tell if it’s juicy and flavorful is to taste it” , she said with a wicked grin

I then saw what I suspected — Ann had been looking at pictures other than of the well roasted turkey.

I was painfully and noticeably hard and Ann was obviously enjoying my discomfort and the view. My tan wool trousers were spotted from where my leaky cockhead pressed prominently

“I would love to give you a taste” , I answered moving closer

Ann looked around. It was quiet but we were in full view from the lobby. She breathed deeply and grabbed my distended cock through my trousers, silently mouthing “come here”.

She unzipped my pants and freed me. I sprang forth firm and moist — throbbing and shiny with precum

Looking quickly around she took me fully into her mouth swirling her tongue around my painfully engorged bulbous head

Just then the elevator chimed. Ann turned to the lobby and I quickly withdrew and awkwardly shoving my hard cock back into my pants. I took off my sport coat and held it in front of me as I returned to the reception area

Ann saw me and smiled brightly. “We will have to do lunch for the holidays she said brightly as her eyes teased me.

“Yes, let’s do that” I said and then, reluctantly, left to go back to my office.

The Awakening … Part 1

I read Lucypurr’s Sleep Over … and my thoughts returned to long ago …

My sister was a very helpful girl.   She was a year  older than me   When I was 11 or 12 she showed me where a stash of classic playboy magazines was – my 20 year old neighbor had “bequeathed” them to me when he got married, but my mom had hidden them until I was older …

For a young man before the Internet, it was a treasure trove of erotic images.  I was overcome in the moment and started to stroke my young cock that was plastered to my stomach.  My mom wasn’t home, but I lost track of my sister …  

After a short time I stuffed the magazine under my shirt and carefully walked to my small upstairs bedroom. and shut the door. The door would not close all the way … it left about a 4 inch gap …

I stripped off my Levi’s and laid down on my bed facing the door, not thinking about anything but Miss November and my cock   Soon I began to leak on the thin white cotton of my briefs – tightly whities-  so I stripped them off, struggling to get them over my erection. My teenaged cock was so hard it was tight against me.  So I wet my hand with what I later learned was precum and stroked myself.  

The centerfold was an Asian. She wore only dance leggings (which began a lifelong obsession with dancers) …

I felt my cock jump every time I stroked it.  It was experimental …  I felt the smooth slickness of my hardness.  It was fascinating but I was riveted to the huge breasts and compact Asian bush.   And my throbbing tingling cock …  

Before long I started to feel my cock contract and then shoot hot cum all over my stomach. 

This was a long time ago and I was unprepared for the mess, but especially unprepared for the the smell. 

 I didn’t know what to do.  I was an alter boy for God’s sake.   I knew that someone in my tiny house would smell it and  find out.

 My cum smelled good to me. It was warm and thick. So , in a panic I scraped the gooey cum off of my stomach and tasted it.  I remember it tasting surprisingly good – sweet but bitter too. So I scraped it up and sucked it off my fingers ….  I wiped the rest off with my underwear and stashed the cum/damp white underwear under my pillow. 

Then I remembered my sister was home. I felt exhilarated but confused and guilty – like I knew a secret that I was not supposed to know. But I knew I had to get out of the house 

I saw my sister when I went downstairs and I remember telling her I was going out to play ball.  She mumbled something and I left quickly to go down the block

But when I came back to my room that night  there was nothing under my pillow …

Quick-Thinking Florida Woman Offers A Cop Oral Sex After Kicking Him In The Balls

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Protip: After you’ve kicked someone in the balls, they might not want a mouth there. You’ll never know unless you ask, but assume the answer is “no,” especially if that person is a police officer. This is the lesson learned by Beatrize Carrion-Moore, a Florida woman who was recently picked up by police for soliciting sex in a West Palm Beach bar. Apparently, for Carrion-Moore, this is just a typical night at Boonies, but the manager wasn’t really having it. Police were called, police arrived, police cuffed Carrion-Moore and took her and her hyperactive mouth into custody.

Magically, Carrion-Moore slipped out of the handcuffs, a struggle ensued, and one cop ended up with a foot lodged in his crotch. Once the feisty young lady realized what she’d done, she tried to make things right:

Once she was secured in the back of the patrol car, Carrion-Moore continued to offer…

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This Web Developer Gets Paid To Get Drunk And Test Client’s Websites

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Real Ale Enthusiasts Flock To The CAMRA Great British Beer Festival

A web developer has figured out a way to live the dream, getting drunk and getting paid at the same time.

Richard Littauer is the founder of The User Is Drunk, a website testing service. For $250 per site, he will get intoxicated and run tests on his client’s websites. The reasoning is that if a website can be used by a drunk person, it is truly user-friendly.

As an added bonus, he posts his screencasts online so that people who are interested in web development or developing their own site can pick up some tips:

[O]ne of the things Richard guarantees is that you will get to see footage of him in action and that he will be posting those videos publicly — obviously so we can all learn something about UX from the process.

The demand is so high for Littauer’s services that he has raised…

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God’s work or Satan’s

During my late, unlamented sexless marriage, I perfected my current sexual obsession.  I react much more like a 20 year old than someone 50-something

And I also interacted with men, but mostly women, who were similarly situated. Yes there really are men who won’t fuck their willing, even aggressively willing, often very attractive wives

As part of my “self-triage” I would work at rekindling these neglected women’s eroticism.   This didn’t always entail direct sex. Many times it involves making them feel desired, developing their erotic fantasies  watching, listening and encouraging them to explore themselves and revel in touch.   

These women then made decisions based on sexual feelings long denied.  I remember fondly beautiful smiles of women who took themselves from largely wooden reactions to triggering nearly violent orgasms with even their own brief simple touch

Happily or sadly, many of their relationships did not survive.  They found lovers, new spouses or just determined that they did not have to accept sexual neglect in response to their sexual generosity

I like to think I was doing God’s work.   But, was I?   I have no regrets either way 

Tucker Carlson’s Brother Reminds Us Why Hitting Reply All Is Sometimes A Huge Mistake

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Now I want to preface this by asking you to hold your judgment for a moment. I am aware that talking about Tucker Carlson and the things that escape his mouth can sometimes get people heated, but I want you to put that aside and try to judge these email conversations on their content alone.

The emails in question regard a conversation between spokesman for New York City mayor Bill de Blasio, Amy Spitalnick, and Tucker Carlson, with some cameos by other players at different points. The contact was the result of Spitalnick’s attempts to get a correction for a story at The Daily Caller by writer Peter Fricke concerning de Blasio’s comments about President Obama’s transportation proposal.

Caller editor Christopher Bedford got pulled into the lengthy email back and forth, leading to the reply, “We’re reviewing the video now, Amy. If you annoy me with another whiny email…

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